The Voices Of Women

 Photo by: Esther Buttery

Photo by: Esther Buttery

What I learnt was that anxiety doesn't go away, we just get better at not letting it control us...that we can make friends with it.

I learnt that when you have a vision for something, to surround yourself with positive, powerful people who believe in it too - that you can really bring it to fruition.

I learnt that if you bring your focus to that one thing and keep at it, even through the tasks that you don't know how to do and want to give up on and rip your hair out...to just breathe and stay with it and ask for help from someone who knows.

I learnt that people are extremely generous with their time, energy and money.

I learnt that from the deepest darkest pain, can come some beautiful fucking gold.

I learnt that you cannot control or change other people, only the perceptions you have and your own actions.

I learnt that loss and grief when given space to be felt can then make space for your heart to open up again.

I learnt never to doubt the visions and that inner voice that has guided me all this way.

I learnt the importance of intention and what you put out will come back to you ten fold.

I learnt that music, laughter, tears and women sharing their voices is one of the greatest healings and the world needs more of it.

I learnt that with hard work, a lot of heart, belief in a higher power and a team around you who laugh and cry all the way with you - that miracles can happen.

I don't want to paint a picture that this has been an easy ride and everything was perfect...well it was, but not in that LaLa fantasy perfection way. I felt anxiety in the lead up, I cried the night before and couldn't sleep cos I was missing Alan. The grief, depression and anxiety that I experienced this year was tremendous, but following this vision led to me reconnecting with my soul, feeling the flow of synchronicity, joy and inner peace again.

"The Voices Of Women" was so potent in it's healing energy. It was like all the speakers and performers had the same universal message and were all connecting dots, even though they didn't know what the other was going to say. All the stories that were shared by Em Rusciano, Chelsea Plumley, Susan Santoro, Jessica Jovanovski, myself and the performers Jude Pearl & Lauren Glezer - all tied together in this message of listening to that inner voice, your gut, following your intuition and making peace with the fact that we are human and it's ok to not be coping sometimes. And that there are so many ways to find that sense of peace again with these parts of yourself - spiritually, creatively and clinically.

There were so many comments about the energy in the room being so warm and welcoming. People felt comfortable to laugh, cry, chat to the random person next to them and could relate to what the women on stage were sharing. It was quite surreal to see the unfolding of what I had so clearly envisioned.

We had a packed room and raised a lot of money for Beyond Blue on the night too, which meant a lot.

In the past I've lived for the 'highs', the big moments - the moments where I was up on stage were my happiest. But for the last few years I've found the love of the in-between moments.

There was a moment before we let the audience in, and I think amongst many highlights, this was the moment that really took my breath away. Because I looked around the room and the gift bags were being made, the sound was being tested, the silent auction and raffle stations were being set up, the door list was being put together with the payment system, the grazing table was being made up and I stopped to see this community of women lovingly give of themselves to this higher purpose...it was like stepping back in time and seeing a tribe out in nature all contributing the community, some looking out for the kids, going to hunt for food and collecting the firewood. And in that moment I felt so blessed and grateful for the community that I'm apart of that continues to grow with the most beautiful people.

So thankful to everyone who shared this event, help spread the word, work behind the scenes in the lead up and was there supporting and joining us on the night.

For those who couldn't be there, there will be more. 
The Voices Of Men is next...cos let's support the men too in sharing their voices!

For those who are suffering in silence, please...know that you are not alone. Know that you are not the voices in your head. Please reach out for help...cos you never the beauty that can come of it...

So Much Love,
Tali xx


Are You On The #AnxietyTrain?

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Years ago if you'd said to me that I'd get to a stage in my life where I'd be able to sit still for 20 minutes and experience peace in my mind & body....I would have probably belly laughed...you know that awkward belly laugh that over compensates just how uncomfortable you feel? Yeah...that. 

I don't recall hearing about meditation in school or was really exposed to it until I went to acting school 7 years ago and started hearing more about it. After one of my teachers commented on the amount of tension I was holding in my body, I thought it might be good to give this meditation thing a go!

I learnt with a transcendental meditation teacher who was also an actor, for 4 days. It was intense. I started having these massive releases - crying, sweating and feeling OH SO PRESENT...!
I guess you could equate it to someone taking drugs for the first time, not that I've taken that much, if any, but it was like being in an altered state. Although, this state felt more natural then the one I'd spent 99% of the time in....#anxietytrain 

I started going to 5Rhythms, a movement meditation practise religiously and found that the combo started shifting things for me immensely. Before that, I'm pretty sure I was numbed out from the head down. I was so in my head, so anxious all the time and not to get all gory with you, but my digestion was out of control. I thought it was normal to have diarrhoea everyday, until I started meditating and learnt to relax my stomach with deep belly breathing, soon after I was able to stomach foods I'd never been able to digest. 

I turned to my partner the other day and realised that we meditate every day now. First thing in the morning we sit up in bed and put 20 mins on the timer, before we speak to each other, we take time to sit and be. 

And that's what I really want to share here is that I NEVER thought I'd be able to do meditation, let alone any practise consistently everyday except for brushing my teeth.

But the cool thing is, we can actually retrain our brain and our habits.

And things we find hard, can soon become easier. And things that make us feel good, become more tempting than doing things that make us feel like shit. 

So whether you are an avid mediator or you've never tried it before, you are welcome to join us for the
7 Day Meditation Challenge -  to reduce your anxiety. 

Each day you'll share a photo of you in the private Facebook Group after your meditation to help with accountability and I'll be sharing live group meditations in there as well. 

Hope you’ll join us!

Big Love,
Tali xx

Embracing The Darkness

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I had some of my darkest times earlier this year. And I say dark in the internal sense. Dark thoughts, emotions were all over the shop and honestly didn't wake up feeling there was a lot of light. It's light that flickered and then went out. 


But the light never goes out, it's just that we truly have to meet the benefits and lessons of what and why the dark has come to teach us. 


I learnt that this particular darkness came at a time where I'd experienced a trauma, but even before that it was lingering under the horizon of my conscious mind. 

And then when the trauma happened it went into full flight. Revealing itself to me in horrific dreams and flashes in my waking mind as well. 

Thoughts that I caught myself with, observed and then freaked out that I'd thought such a thing. 

Growing up, mental health wasn't really something that was properly spoken about or ever went beyond just the word 'mental health' 


What does that even mean? "Mental health"


I dabbled in clinical pathways but there was always an instinctive knowing that if I danced, sang and surrounded myself with those who live in their truth it just wasn't an option to go deep underground into mental unhealth. 

Until I slowly stopped dancing, singing and had this voice inside that was telling me just how self indulgent it is to be in my artist, to speak my words and to share my expression. 

It's a reoccurring voice but this time it was at a whole other level. To the point that cleverly it took over. 

Until one day I woke up and felt so depressed, that I was like ok who's switched the light off in here?! 

The gifts of all of this is that

a) it makes me appreciate on a whole other level the support system I have around me. The people in my life

b) I appreciate the amount of tools and teachings I've learnt over the years that have also been engrained so there is one part in me that knows this too shall pass

c) that no matter how cliche it sounds, we can't really meet our light unless we have stepped into embracing our darkness. 

And so the first step is awareness actually seeing the beast is there crawling behind you, the next step is often the freak out that there's this monster following you and the third step is just taking a breath and holding your little girl/boy's hand and turning slowly to face the beast. With your little girl/boy now standing behind you. Not in between where she/he may have been before. 

And then the hardest part I find, is asking the beast - what is it that you want?

Letting it say what it wants to say shouldn't come as a shock because you've been hearing its smirks and little comments in your ears for some time now. 

But then with respect for both yourself and the beast the most important part I find is to actually speak up and speak back to this creature. Reminding it that you're grateful it showed up but now it's time for it to go back to its cave and lay and rest. That you do not need its wacky way of protecting you. You can walk this path alone because you know in your heart you're never alone and are always protected by a higher power

So here's to all the beasts out there. Rest well in the knowing that you don't have to carry the burden of protecting the land. The lands are barren with you around because you thrive on killing. Allow us to lead forth to enrich the soil with water and nutrients you may never have experienced. 

We thank you and goodbye. 

It has been coming back to this practise of thanking these internal voices that has helped me know

I'm not crazy

I'm not mentally ill

I'm not my depression

Or my anxiety

And there are ways to come back into my heart and into the true version of myself in doing the things I love most. 

Thank you for reading and I hope that today and each day you can lay your beast to rest. Both you and they deserve it.

Big Love to you and your voices, 
Tali  xx

Are You Addicted To Your Negative Thoughts?

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I didn't know addictions can also be internal.

I thought addictions meant being addicted to something outside of yourself - drugs, alcohol, food, sex... 

But I've seen in myself and in others the addictions we can have internally too. To letting our minds run the show. And not a happy positive 'Broadway' one, but a negative self destructive one. 

I've used many tools over the years to help me clear and relax my mind. To turn my thoughts from self beating to self loving, from self defeating & doubtful to hopeful and from anxiety and worry to feeling gratitude. 

I endorse meditation, movement, yoga, sound healing all as tools that have brought me some relief. However, the thing that has helped me the most is speaking out these negative voices, seeing what they have to say and then retraining them to know that they are no longer needed or serving my life. Once upon a time they protected me. Now they just destroy me. From the inside out.

Our external world always reflects our inner.

And if we are not being refuelled with kind, compassionate loving voices then our world and our sense of feeling full in this life ain't gonna be there. 

To journey through the different parts of the self and meet the inner voices is a sacred, transformative, healing and fun creative process. I'm only up for working with people who are willing to take ownership and responsibility for themselves, to nurture & love that child inside & be the best loving parent to them. 

And we don't stop there, we take it further in our understanding that we all have guides and angels around us and we invite those voices that are kind and loving to become louder in our ears. 

If you feel like your soul is screaming out for more creative expression, to feel empowered in sharing your voice, to not be afraid to be all that your are, to feel the support of a community who gets it - who also have really critical voices in their heads who've learnt to love them. 

I'm inviting only a select amount of people (men & women) into my next intake of The Voices Of...Program. This is a 3 month mentoring program with the option of a Performance Ritual at the end with both online and in personal style content and learning. Full to the brim with creative and spiritual practises/tools so you feel more self love, confidence and empowerment. 

If you want your true voice to lead the way and not the voices in your head, get in touch. 

Big Love to you and your voices, 
Tali xx

 

Feeling Creative?

You know when you go to do something, that you know deep down once you start...you'll love? 
But then just before you're about to do it...
That little voice creeps in...

"Really? Do we have time for this?"
"You can't afford that right now"
"You'll be exhausted if you do that" etc. etc. 


This little fear voice ain't so little for the majority of us. 

For most of us find that this voice can carefully creep in and have it's way with us.
Convincing us that pursuing what we love and getting creative, whether it be going to a new dance class, singing in the shower, taking time to journal, paint, do a FB live video about something you're passionate about, going to an art gallery by yourself....is a waste of time.

This voice's role is to keep you in what 'it' thinks is safe and secure. 

"Better to be small than to take a risk" it says.

So, yes there are times maybe where you want to be conservative, plan things out and feel that safety. But then there are also times to move past your fears and take the leap.

The fear voice is such a great indicator as to where courage lies.

If we didn't have fear how would we know what it is to be courageous? 

So, maybe instead of resisting and hating the fact that you have this fear voice, perhaps you can thank it each time it arises for reminding you that you are closer to courage.

Ahhh...I can hear some of your voices saying
"But I'm not creative"
Often when this voice rises up so fast in defence it can also be a good indicator to the exact opposite. That in fact, you are highly creative. And if you actually gave yourself time for it, on the other side of it would be huge transformation and more joy in your life.

So, why not give it a try?? 

Big Love, 
Tali xx

Is Winter Over Yet?

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If we listened...like really listened to nature and it's ways, perhaps we wouldn't be so bogged down with the jolt of winter and what it brings.

Death.
Destruction.
Coldest of shadows. 

We somehow mistakenly think that we can bypass this stage and put the heater on so we don't feel the cold. 

But the heavens know. They know that by us not listening to the signs, not stopping to feel the coldness, to meet the deepest darkest parts, it will have to get us there another way. 

For there is no light without darkness. 

Maybe you retreated this winter? Felt really lost, directionless, off purpose, not living at your greatest potential? 

And maybe...just maybe, instead of listening to the voice that beats you down, you could acknowledge the quieter voice within that's been there all along whispering to you to surrender. 

To listen to how you truly feel. 

To see the depths of this darkness. 

To hear the echo's of the loss you feel for not living in your shiny bright self. 

Cos really deep down don't you know that your sparkly joyful self will come back?

Well, let me remind you...

It will. 

In spring, summer there is always new life. It's law. It's nature. It's universal creation energy. 

So, take a breath. Winter is freeing, moving away after it's indulgent stay. See if you can be grateful for all the lessons?
For this moment right here, right now.
Maybe the gifts from this time aren't clear yet, but you can feel them simmering? 

Wishing you were not where you are doesn't get you to that place faster. It just creates a discordance within. 

There are so many voices within. Do you know you have the ability to choose which one you want to lead the way in your life? It's a muscle that can be tested, grown, strengthened and exercised. 

If you want to go to the "gym" and  transform your inner world - get in touch. 

A few places are left for our next intake of
The Voices Of...Program.

(Starts Sep 3rd 2018)

It's a 3 month mentoring program to help you put those harsh voices to rest & live with more peace, joy & purpose. You will learn to distinguish between which voice is which. Your ego or your true voice? And how to navigate your decisions and life choices through creative expression of them. Bring back your creativity and zest for life through an experience that brings you back to you. 

Big love to you and your voices,

Tali xx